What am I going to do when I turn 22?

The Wall Street Journal did a great interview with Alain de Botton (link on the title). He's sort of a philosopher of everyday life.

For me the most interesting part of the interview:

When college graduates are trying to figure out what careers to pursue, what should they ask themselves?

The process demands such a vast amount of thought that it's hard to summarize other than by saying: take this moment in your life very, very seriously. I studied the world of career counseling and was amazed by just how casually people continue to fall into jobs. Most of us are still in jobs chosen for us by our unthinking 22-year-old selves. We speak endlessly about waste: waste of energy, of resources, of water. But the most shameful waste is of people's talents.

Alain is smart; I agree with most of what he says in the interview. But I take issue with this response. I don't agree that the moment of decision at 22 is vitally important. And I think Alain is making a mistake to emphasize it for three reasons.

1. If a 22 year old is reading the transcript of his interview and is more than a little unsure about the direction of his life, then de Botton's words will likely cause mor harm than good. 22 is a tender age--having plenty of reasons to be insecure. de Botton isn't helping to ease the decision process.

2. If a 22 year old doesn't have a good idea of what to do next, then he probably won't make the ideal choice when forced to decide. de Botton is right--what we do for work is important. We spend forty or more hours a week working--it should be somewhat interesting and fulfilling. But I do not believe that a 22 year old will discover what interests or fulfills him by sitting down with a pen and paper and trying to make a career decision. Rather, he should examine his life for trends and interests that point toward his calling. What does he like doing now? Can he somehow make a living doing that thing and doing it well?

(Side Note) Some folks know what they are going to do for a career at age 10; some at age 20; others don't figure it out until later. I think that self reflection and career planning are useful regardless of when a person makes the career decision. And I think it's an ongoing process. I made a bad career decision at age 22, but now I'm 26 (so much wiser and more mature :P) and I have the experience and capacity to make better decisions.

3. Career decisions are important; however, peace and fulfillment do not come from obtaining the perfect job. And in truth, a job that is valued too highly will ultimately let us down. The economy is in constant flux and each of us will have to grow and adapt with the changing world in order to continue to provide value. If we stake too much hope on a single career done in an established way, then we will be left behind economically.

But my primary concern is spiritual--not economic.

The author of Ecclesiastes writes, "What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless. A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?"

Of course, the author was writing before organized labor and the subsequent establishment of the weekend and a retirement age. But you get the point: work and calling produce anxiety. However, they do not have to. There is One who offers peace that surpasses all understanding.

Apologies and Life at 22

Friends and Readers: I apologize for my recent absence from Absurdly Happy. LA has had a bad case of June gloom, and I, whether consequently or not, have had a bad case of writer's block. Please pray for my recovery.

Really, there are much more important things to pray for...but I'll take the prayers that I can get. :)

In the meantime I wanted to share an excellent piece by my friend and coworker Christina. She spent some time reflecting on her first year out of college and came up with a list of "10 things I've learned about the 'real world' during my first year in the 'real world'."

1. Live with good friends

2. People told you that you are amazing and that you can change the world. This was a lie. JK. You are amazing and you can change the world, it's just that no one in the "real world" will believe you until you prove it.

3. Be white American. You can complain and definitely find support, but be white American. That's how the world is run.

4. Learn to make decisions. Learn that it's okay not to make the perfect decision and that sometimes you just have to go for it.

5. Read the news in moderation. After living in a college bubble, too great an intake of the sad happenings of the world can cause depression.

6. Be humble. Really, BE HUMBLE. You can try to change the world, but first just live in it and learn from it. It knows more than you do.

7. When angstfully trying to decide what to do with your life, remember what an incredible privilege it is to have a choice at all.

8. If bored at your job, listen to books online for free at librivox.org. Rediscover fiction and enjoy readers' fake accents.

9. Take public transportation if you can. Driving grinds hopes and dreams out of the soul.

10. Value commitment over consumerism. Stick to things, places, people, even if you don't receive immediate gratification. Give it real chance because sometimes it takes demonstrated investment on your part before you receive gratification.

My very favorites are 2 and 6, but I feel like I could post on each of these. Thanks for the inspiration Christina.

Now to you: what were some of your thoughts or reflections on your first year out of college? I would love to hear.

disappointment and following your dreams part 1: Astronauts

A couple of weeks ago I posted about the quarterlife crisis, and the post has bothered me ever since. I think it needs more explanation. Here's part of what I wrote:

We grew up with big dreams, but the reality of adult life is not like our dreams--and it takes us a few years to sort through the professional, relational, and emotional letdowns. It doesn't really matter what generation we're a part of, at some point our childhood dreams have to be altered to fit with reality.

(you should probably read the rest of the post before going on...link above)

I don't regret the post--but I want to make sure you don't get the wrong idea. I believe in "following you dreams" but in my own way.

When I was in third grade, I did a report on the solar system. It was awesome! I threw myself into the project, reading book after book about the planets, the sun, the possibility of life on other planets. I was passionate about space--I could talk about it for hours. When the project was done, I was convinced that I would become an astronaut.

But I'm not an astronaut. I work in finance. What happened?

Well, to become an astronaut, I would have had to study a lot of science. But I didn't know that (I guess no one ever told me, or I didn't ask). So when I entered high school, I quickly decided that science was my least favorite subject. You know what high school chemistry is like... I also had no idea that I would have had to join the Air Force. I have never seriously considered joining the armed forces.

So in essence there were two problems with my dream to become an astronaut:
1. Lack of information- Simply, I didn't know what it would take to become an astronaut.
2. Lack of drive- I didn't know what it would take to become an astronaut, and I didn't care enough to find out. Remember this was 1992, before Google and Wikipedia.

Without drive, dreams will die. When I was in third grade, imagining my life as an astronaut was so glorious and, in some ways, seemed so easy. But becoming an astronaut—really, succeeding in any field—is difficult. Drive is essential. To follow our dreams we must have the faith and resilience to desire our goal even when disappointment stands in our way.

Disappointment is toxic; it can be paralyzing. Somehow, somehow we must attain the drive to push through it.

If I was driven to become an astronaut, I could have sought out more information about the field. I could have pushed through chemistry and physics, catching glimpses of the stars through the library windows. I could have endured basic training and played the military game, knowing that I was running a race worth winning.

But I didn’t and that’s okay. Becoming an astronaut was one of seven or eight dreams that I had as a child—I’m still pursuing three! And I have learned that if I am going to attain any of these three, then drive is essential.

“Following your dreams” is a Commencement Speech cliche; I dislike it because it's overused. But the concept is important. We each have desires, and we ought to pursue them. I hope you will. I hope you know that it will be difficult. I hope also that you know it will be worth it.

I confess that my drive is worse than most. Thank God I’ve had some help. Here's one book that helped me. Here's another.